Although I am thrilled to be celebrating his special day, I am a little freaked out at how quickly his life seems to be flying be...I mean, before I know it, he's going to be a teenager sneaking out of the house or something. I take my job as "mom" very seriously, and as much fun as I have taking the boys to the park, throwing their birthday parties, or giving them other life experiences, I also want to make sure I am putting forth the effort daily to teach them the things I find to be the most important. As quickly as the time flies, I decided to take the time to really think about what those things may be. And I figured his birthday was the perfect occasion to share my list with him (and you all of course, considering he won't understand a word of it right now!)
I have seen these lists (for boys and girls too) all over the Internet. While a lot of my ideas will probably overlap with those already written, I wanted to create my own personalized version for my boys, so here it goes:
1. You are loved.
Before I became a mom, I had heard tales of the deep love a mom had for her children, but wasn't sure exactly what that entailed. Now I know. I love your successes, your failures, the good days, the bad...I love everything about you (both of you) in such an unconditional way. I don't know exactly how your dad feels, but I can tell it's about the same as me. Plus, you have grandparents, and aunts, and uncles, and great grandparents, and friends...you have a lot of people that love you deeply.
2. Recognize how fortunate you are, but stay humble.
You don't need to know if we're rich, poor, or somewhere in between. Do acknowledge, though, how lucky you are to have the things you have in your life. Be aware, also, that others are not so fortunate. This does not make you better then them. Instead, put forth effort to share what you have with them.
3. Find your passion.
You will be especially good at something: athletics, music (although probably not...your genes don't look good for that one), cooking, art....whatever it is, follow it! Your dad and I will support you in whatever path you choose. Put your heart and soul into it, and enjoy it.
4. But keep in mind, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Everyone has their thing. Johnny may run faster than you, or Bobby may win the Spelling Bee...as long as you tried your best, there is no shame in losing. Be a good sport about it.
5. When you find the girl of your dreams, spoil her.
Let her know how much she means to you both through your actions and your words. Sure, your heart may get broken a couple times along the way, but I promise you will eventually find "the one." And if that girl is special enough to have earned your adoration then you need to continuously remind her of that. Put her happiness ahead of your own constantly.
6. You are lucky to have each other.
Friends come and go, but family will always be there. With less than two years between you, the two of you will probably be the best of friends at times and completely over each other at others (or maybe that's just girls...we'll see). But keep each other close: support each other, have fun together, stand up for each other, respect each other.
7. You are smart.
I don't care if you are the highest reader in your class, a straight A student, or considered gifted. You go to school to learn, not to compete. Do the best you can, enjoy the experience, and learn all that you can and you will be successful one day. You don't need to be the top of anything to be considered smart.
8. Don't be afraid to get dirty.
Boys will be boys. Play in the dirt, make some messes, get holes and grass stains on your jeans. Explore your world, and have a good time doing it.
9. BUT...respect the boundaries.
Getting dirty is one thing; destroying property is another...you know the difference. Play with the things that are yours, and keep your grubby paws off of mom and dad's things.
10. And finally...
I am sure as you get older you will push those boundaries. You will experiment with drinking, or speeding, or other stupid teenage boy fun. This is a part of growing up, and I will not be so naive to think you won't do it. But use your common sense, and don't push it too far. Please know you can come to me if you find you need help...a ride home, condoms, advice, whatever.
11. Be mindful of your words.
Hurtful words can stay with someone forever. Saying "I'm sorry" is a nice gesture, but it may not completely take the pain away, so think before you speak. And while we're at it, "I'm sorry" should only be used if you truly mean it...if you say it just to say it, it loses its significance. With that being said, don't be afraid to say it if you truly do feel it.
12. Study your mom and dad.
When you leave this house, you should be able to do your laundry, take out the trash, mow the lawn, cook some meals, vacuum, dust, make your bed, etc. Oh, and you will certainly have learned how to clean up after yourself. Learn to do these things...trust me, your future wives will thank us!
13. Never, ever wear skinny jeans.
They look ridiculous...enough said.
14. It's OK to cry.
It's not a sign of weakness and certainly not reserved just for babies...everyone cries when they're hurt or sad; don't be afraid or embarrassed to do so.
15. Stay active.
You are growing up in an age where technology is everywhere. Shoot...Colton, at age 2, you have already mastered the iPad. TV, video games, etc. have their place, but get off the couch, get outside, and play/get some exercise.
16. Learn to budget.
Part of being responsible means learning to manage your money and not just spend til its gone or without thought. We'll help you out with one overdraft, but after that, you're on your own. One day you will need to manage a whole household's money (or find a wife who can do it for you!), so figure it out now. By the way, mom and dad may not be the best source of advice on this one...ask Papa instead!
17. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Sure, it's not original, but it's true. Bullying is one thing that will not be tolerated in any capacity in this house. Everyone has their worth, and our differences are what make the world go round. Value them; don't belittle them. You don't have to like everyone, but you certainly need to act like you do.
18. Smile at life.
You will have your bad days...we all do. But learn to look for the positives in any situation, laugh at the things that just don't matter, and keep your head up. You will be happy if you choose to be happy.
19. You are only as good as your reputation.
Be honest, loyal, and show integrity. If you make a mistake, own up to it. One blemish can forever tarnish how people think of you, so always tell the truth.
20. Work hard.
Don't expect anything in this world to just be handed to you, but you will most certainly be successful in life if you learn to work hard. When the going gets tough, rise to the occasion and persevere. It might not always be fun, but I promise the results will be worth it.
21. You are Steelers fans.
You have no second favorite team. I'm not forcing you in a certain direction, but it's a way of life...you'll grow to love it (Colton, you already have!).
22. Be a good friend.
When you meet someone lucky enough to be considered a "friend," do whatever you can to maintain that friendship. Share, take turns, be willing to play what your friend wants to sometimes, be there for him/her when you are needed. True friends are golden.
23. Don't be afraid to take the road less traveled.
Pursue the things that are most important to you. Make your choices based on what you believe to be right. Follow your own heart...not that of your peers, or society in general.
24. Make the most of every day.
Life is short. Do things that make you smile. Cherish the people around you.
25. "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."
No matter how big you are, I am still your mom and could not be prouder or more honored to be. I love you...no matter what. You always have a home to come to...a place that you are loved, and wanted, and cherished.
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Such a great post. #10 is my favorite. That's exactly the mentality I want to have with Taylor.
ReplyDeleteShe's going to do stupid stuff. I know it. Just keep me in the loop. :)