March 25, 2010

I remember everything about March 25, 2010.  Just the afternoon before, my OBGYN had offered me a chance to bump my c-section up one week (Colton was breached, so a c-section was necessary) to the next day.  This left me with one full day left of pregnancy, one day left before I became a mom, one day left before my world was going to be completely altered.  That day felt like such a whirlwind to me.  There were things to be done...loose ends to tie up in my classroom considering I was about to be out for the next 8 weeks (or rest of the year as it ended up being...what can I say; I loved my maternity leave), a pedicure to be had becasue when was going to be my next chance, some Reefs to buy because spring was here and these were a necessity.  But as I ran around checking these tasks off my list, the real action was brewing in my head where so many thoughts were going back and forth.  What would Colton look like?  Would he be healthy?  Would the C-section hurt?  How long would I have to stay in the hospital?  How would I know what to do for this baby?  Would I be a good mother?  Would Josh be a good father?  Would Chipper adjust to his new brother?  Would Josh and I adjust to our new roles as mom and dad?  I was excited, I was scared, I had every emotion known to mankind.
And then at 10:19 AM on March 26th, 2010, Colton arrived in the world

And I had a whole new host of emotions.  I had never felt such joy, or pride, or love, or fear.  I realized on that day how incredibly blessed I am.  I realized my baby was a miracle beyond miracles...the most beautiful, healthy creature I had ever laid my eyes on.  I realized that I had loved other things and people, but never loved something quite like I loved this gift that had been given to me.  I realized that I had loved Josh before, but not as I loved him as the father to our child.  And yet I still had so many questions, and so many lessons yet to learn. 
March 26, 2010 was undoubtedly the most amazing day of my life, as it redefined love and joy to me.  The last year has been indescribable.    Thank you G-d for picking me to raise, love, and watch this beautiful, sweet little boy grow.  Happy first birthday baby boy.  I love you