March 21, 2013

This is My Life

Ever been in the midst of doing something when you stop to think, "man, this is my life?!?"  I have those ALL the time.  I guess being a stay-at-home mom and spending the vast majority of your time conversating with and entertaining two children under three will do that to you!

A few weeks ago, I decided to start keeping track of them, thinking they'll probably serve as great entertainment one day!
I also figured it may be fun to share them with you because I'm guessing there's many of you out there who can relate...
1.  You jam out to "The Wheels on the Bus," "This Old Man," or "Itsy Bitsy Spider"...sometimes even when the kids aren't in the car just because you forget to turn it off.
2.  The songs mentioned above are perpetually in your head along with any theme song from Disney Jr...meeska, mooska anyone?
3.  You hide in the shower, relishing that sucker for every second that you can...
4.  If you leave the room, even for a second, you hear something to the effect of "mama, where you be?"
5.  You catch your own English regressing to "where you be?"
6.  When you hang out with your friends, it's at the bounce house.
7.  Happy hour isn't at's at 2PM (or whenever nap time is at your house).
8. Yoga pants are your daily uniform.
9.  If you shower and put on jeans, you are dressed up.
10.  You text almost exclusively.  Phone conversations while the kids are up, just end up being interrupted with "stop," "not now," and "hold on" anyway.
11.  Sunday Funday means the whole family loads up the car for an exciting outing to a park, museum, or other amusement.
12. The highlight of your day is hearing one boy tell the other "sorry penis all gone" during a diaper change.
13.  Your iPad is loaded up with every toddler app known to mankind...and you don't even care because that buys you a few moments of quiet time.
14.  You can't remember the last time you actually sat down to eat breakfast and/or lunch.
15.  For that matter, you can't remember the last time your breakfast and/or lunch consisted of more than left over peanut butter and jelly, waffle sticks, etc.
16.  When driving, you get really excited to see a school bus, tractor, or "daddy truck."
17.  You hear "you've got your hands full" at least once an outing.
18.  Someone else on same outing tells you how far apart in age their children were/are (without being asked), how fondly they remember "those days" (again without being asked), or how quickly it goes by (once again, without being asked)
19.  You're that crazy person talking to your unresponsive shopping partner (unless babbling counts as "response") as you push the cart through the store
20.  Conversations with friends inevitably turn to potty training, discipline techniques, or the latest spread of germs.
21.  You are a master of bribes.
22.  And threats for that matter.

Honestly, I love my life, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that at times it can be a bit maddening.  At least I can find the humor in it right?!?

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