Job Title:SAHM

Yesterday was the first day of school here in Virginia Beach.  For the past six years that meant I would have started the day (and probably the week beforehand) with jitters and finished it completely and totally exhausted.  As grueling as the school year could be, I absolutely loved being a teacher and took a lot of pride in my job.

my last group of first graders

But now, I'm no longer a teacher. Sure I've been out of school since June, but so has the rest of the world.  Yesterday was the day that everyone else would go back, and I wouldn't.   I have circled that day for a long time on my mental radar, wondering how I would feel when the school year began and I was not a part of it.  So I guess it shouldn't have come as a surprise when the day arrived and I felt a whole range of emotions.  I felt a tad bit of envy at not being a part of the excitement a new school year brings.  I felt a little more sadness at the fact that I wouldn't get to see some of my favorite former students any longer.  I felt relief that I wouldn't have to deal with that problem child or problem parent for the year.  I definitely felt thankful that I would get to spend my days with my little boy (and soon boys) and not running around, stressed out trying to cram too much into a day.
What I was surprised at though was how panicky I felt at the notion that I had lost my sense of purpose.  It was definitely compounded by the fact that Colton was at his own school for a few hours, so I literally had nothing to do (except clean closets, run a few errands, etc).  I had thought this freedom would be totally liberating, and it was to an extent.  But it was also a surprisingly slightly depressing.
That has actually been a real concern of mine ever since we made the decision that I would stay home this year.  That is part of the reason blogging is so important to me, so thank you all for reading.  I have also tried to combat it by joining a mom's group and have been diligent about attending outings with the moms and tots weekly (which Colton really seems to enjoy).
But I have decided my next step is to finally pursue an idea I have playing with for a couple of years now...starting a children's party planning business.  I don't necessarily have grand aspirations for this business.  I just dream of having a little bit of work to keep me busy, and purposeful, and to hopefully bring in a little bit of income so that Josh isn't taking on our complete burden.  While I am confident in my party planning abilities, I am not so skilled at starting a business, especially when I do not have much leeway in terms of financial risks associated with it.  So, if any of you have any ideas/advice, etc I would love to hear it!
 People ask me all the time if I will go back to teaching one day.  I would like to think so, but if there is one thing I have learned in the last few years, it is that life is just one big ride and I am certainly along for it. So wherever the future may lead, I am excited for this new chapter and anxious to see what happens.